Thursday, September 11, 2014

The Abundance Theory

Dr. Stephen R. Covey

Think Win-Win isn't about being nice, nor is it a quick-fix technique. It is a character-based code for human interaction and collaboration. 

Most of us learn to base our self-worth on comparisons and competition. We think about succeeding in terms of someone else failing--that is, if I win, you lose; or if you win, I lose. Life becomes a zero-sum game. There is only so much pie to go around, and if you get a big piece, there is less for me; it's not fair, and I'm going to make sure you don't get anymore. We all play the game, but how much fun is it really? 

Win-win sees life as a cooperative arena, not a competitive one. Win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-win means agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying. We both get to eat the pie, and it tastes pretty darn good! 

A person or organization that approaches conflicts with a win-win attitude possesses three vital character traits:

Integrity: sticking with your true feelings, values, and commitments
Maturity: expressing your ideas and feelings with courage and consideration for the ideas and feelings of others
Abundance Mentality: believing there is plenty for everyone

Many people think in terms of either/or: either you're nice or you're tough. Win-win requires that you be both. It is a balancing act between courage and consideration. To go for win-win, you not only have to be empathetic, but you also have to be confident. You not only have to be considerate and sensitive, you also have to be brave. To do that--to achieve that balance between courage and consideration--is the essence of real maturity and is fundamental to win-win.

This is the first time I've been somewhat embarrassed to be a triathlete. I've always had a lot of pride for the nature of triathletes..... well in this case most of them. I suppose I have chosen to hang around those that are supportive and positive. I guess there are always going to be those few who have to knock someone down for their accomplishment rather than be happy that someone new has joined the multisport lifestyle.

Last weekend Brett Favre did a triathon. It was a super sprint in Gulf Shores, AL. I saw a thread posted by USA Triathlon on Facebook. The comments that ensued after it were mixed but I was horrified to see so many post really negative things about it. What gives people? Are you so insecure that you can't be happy for Brett instead of posting rude remarks.

I happen to know Brett and Deanna, they are friends of mine, and I know that he did this race with his daughter. He didn't train for it, he didn't "race" it, he wanted to be out there supporting Bre in her first triathlon. Deanna did the triathlon too, but told me she was so worried about both of them that she didn't "race" it. She still came in 3rd Overall! Deanna is a great triathlete and has been racing triathlons for years but chooses to fly under the radar. I'm not surprised after seeing some of the nasty comments about her husband.

I've never written a post like this before. I don't plan on ever writing one again. But I find it incredibly sad that people can be so mean spirited and hateful, and just needed to speak my peace. Lighten up people. There is room for all of us!